This image helps portray my mind. I am driving myself towards this light, to which I am promised true happiness, but towards getting to this light is a long road which may be bumpy, sandy, rocky, smooth, and full of hills.
I am told meditation can get me through all this tribulation, this website, the purpose of it is to test/experiment what meditation means to me and how I can better build a relationship with my higher self.
Few points I want to experiment right away
- Sitting upright in silence without motion (time this)
- thinking 1 thing at a time (during the day in activity and during meditation..I’ll explain more)
- Spiritualizing the day (what does that even mean!?)
I will be doing a 30 day experiment and each day I will report back. You should try this too.
Each day I will update you all on my experience. Starting today May 2nd 2026. How I will generally provide these updates will be through sharing that moments in detail and treating like a science project. I want to see if the teachings I have learned/learning from SRF can actually work on me. I am not interested in following any organization by just believing in their words, I would be lying to myself thinking that I fully believe in their techniques. Its been 3 years since I started on this meditation journey and mainly through the lens of SRF and I have definitely changed in super positive ways, by just learning to be a good person (seems simple…) but now it’s time for me to explore who I really am. Since I have been told everything I need to know is within me
May 2 2026:
My parents are coming over to meet Atlas (my son) and Tahira. Experiment with spiritualizing that time. How? Let’s try seeing this moment as my father and mother coming to express LOVE by spending time as a family and having group conversations. Mother and Father can be taken in a spiritual perspective by seeing this experience as “He” or “She” is spending time through my parents and expressing love to Tahira, Atlas, and myself. See if you can feel the blessings and showering of LOVE and feel the lightness and joy from each moment together. Regardless if the words are harsh or kind. Lets see…
In the meantime while I am waiting for my parents, I kind of am thinking about anything that pops up in my mind. Like a hamster. So clearly I need to anchor my mind to avoid the seamless sensory pulls constantly. Happens so automatically. Lets anchor on the feeling of warmth from the sun when I was walking earlier today.
I just worked out for 15 minutes and anchored myself on “I am not this body” over and over again. It was helpful to not get distracted by objects around me or my own mind “telling me to get out, stop working out, this is enough.” As I did that I was more present and could feel myself engaging my muscles more actively and consciously. In this example anchoring during this workout was helpful in keeping my mind calm and focused.
Clearly I need to anchor deeply on something I can actually hook myself onto, can’t be something random, needs to have meaning to me. Anchoring on warmth is not going to work as I already don’t buy it lol. Choose a different anchor. “I’m going home” try that, its deep and has lots of meaning for me. Remind yourself why you are doing all this, it’s to go home. Keep that in mind, over and over again. See if this works, if not, we will change it till we find an anchor that works.
Okay- With my parents the anchoring was “im going home” I think I said it 1 time during the 2 hours they were here and I felt restless energy for the full 2 hours. Not sure why, but definitely something to explore. I was not able to anchor almost as if I totally forgot. It’s okay, it will take repetition to get used this new model/habit. Try again!!!!
What I feel when I am in environments that cause restless energy in me (which makes me want to move around, distract myself with a phone call, watch a tv show or movie, or just talk sort of aimlessly because I am trying to keep my mind busy. Why? Because I don’t want to face those thoughts that come when it’s silent.
Experiment on top of a experiment: Face your Fears
Stimulation sums up my life, from the moment I get up to the moment I fall asleep. Im an addict to stimulation. Hence when there is a form of withdrawal …10 minutes or 30 minutes without it then it’s like a drug addict. I need a hit, pick up the phone, make a phone call, get busy. My average screen time this past week is 4 hours and 17 minutes of which the Nanit was 1 hour 42 minutes of the 30 hours I consumed, WhatsApp was 8 hours!!!!!!!, and Mail was 3 hours and 38 minutes. Mail I can for sure reduce (that one is tough because I look often because of work), WhatsApp for sure is too high.
From Google Gemini “WhatsApp usage is high because its “variable reward” system and notifications trigger dopamine hits similar to gambling. Features like blue checkmarks and “Last Seen” create social pressure to stay active, while group chats keep you scrolling to avoid missing out. Essentially, the app functions as a high-stimulation social infrastructure that makes staying connected feel like a psychological necessity rather than a choice.”
This seems true, when I need a hit it seems like I go to WhatsApp! Clearly 8 hours a week, do the math in a year that is 384 hours or 23,040 minutes. Now that is a powerful habit that is formed.
OK, now going back to the experiment. Spiritualizing my day and actions. Things clearly get in the way…in order words distractions. Like Family, Friends, WhatsApp and Emails. Lets face our fears by overcoming this restless energy be relying less on this apps for pleasure and rather find them within or non-screen time experiences. This is important to be able to then be able to form the habit of spiritualizing moments that come as I have the FOCUS to remember and not just forget.
What I have realized from this experiment today:
1. Face my fears: restless energy….a lot comes from needing stimulation. Rather than picking up my phone, sit and feel this energy. Treat it like a wave. Reacting is giving into need for a dopamine hit. Instead anchor yourself and spiritualize that moment. “I am coming home” – this is important to me because all the hard work will be worth it at the end, just PUSH THROUGH.
In order to accomplish my experiment I have to at the same time work on strengthening other parts of me to be able to reach my true potential of going within and actually practising the SRF techniques. I know I will be more focused and able to concentrate on the technique because I am strenghting those muscles to help me stay focused and not needing hits to pull me away.
Before the end of the day I choose to water the plants rather than watch tv or keep myself busy on my computer or phone. This was different and the reward system was slower but gratifying because I was able to slow down
May 3rd 2026
Reminder Each Day:
- Sitting upright in silence without motion (time this)
- thinking 1 thing at a time (during the day in activity and during meditation..I’ll explain more)
- Spiritualizing the day (what does that even mean!?)
-
1. Face my fears: restless energy….a lot comes from needing stimulation. Rather than picking up my phone, sit and feel this energy. Treat it like a wave. Reacting is giving into need for a dopamine hit. Instead anchor yourself and spiritualize that moment. “I am coming home” – this is important to me because all the hard work will be worth it at the end, just PUSH THROUGH.
Going back to dopamine hits, meditation is a low hit activity for me. I have to change this in order to stay and enjoy it for longer. I accept that my body is trying to reject it as its not as great t
Practice “Savoring”: Actively look for small pleasurable sensations during the session—the cool air in your nostrils or the release of tension in your shoulders. Focusing on these “micro-rewards” can help bridge the gap for high-stimulation seekers.
Start Tiny: If 20 minutes feels like a chore, do one minute of breathwork. Achieving a “tiny goal” is a proven way to get a quick dopamine boost and build momentum
Use Visual or Physical Anchors: Hold a textured object like a smooth stone or a soft blanket to provide grounding sensory feedback during the session
Loving-Kindness (Metta): Focuses on generating positive emotions like joy and rapture, which can naturally trigger dopamine release by making the focus more “enjoyable”.
May 4 2026
Yesterday was eventful with family coming over, didn’t have enough time to reflect and share my results.
I’ll share them now.
Spiritulzing my day yesterday was again forgotten when guests arrived. The restless tension was back and ready to keep me distracted from my experiment. This is now the 2nd time in a row where I forgot my plan fully. Only once I really feel the energy building I realize that I should remember my plan. But by then I am reaching for this help because I don’t like the feeling I feel inside me, I am essentially waiting till it’s uncomfortable for me to reach for God. Very common to reach only when in a form of pain.
Ok. Lets try again. Spiritualize your day, this means to see all moments in your day as an offering or experience with the divine rather than just a moment with a person. Bringing significant meaning to each moment, bringing it all back to anchoring on truth and not delusion. Try again.
May 5 2026
Today, getting better, more time spent in silence without getting distracted with my phone or engaging in aimless conversations. Didn’t really practise any of the 3 points rather focused my mind on being comfortable with the discomfort of restless energy coming and going. It was clear that even that energy comes and goes like a pattern/habit. Enjoying the small moments during the day. Like watering the plants, going for a walk and feeling the warmth of the sun and the flowers and trees, and the beautiful homes in the neighbourhood. Today was all about being able to not need distractions and being all to be present. It was a success. Feels great.
Goal was just to stay present and enjoy those small moments (that usually seemed dull and boring). Stepping away from the my phone which has made me into an addict, so used to this fast paced reward system.
